Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
