Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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