I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
