somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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