Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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