Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
