Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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