He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've blown a few things in my day
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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