Where did you get a picture of my penis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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