i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
