i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
