I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
