We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
