who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
