I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
