Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
