"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
