Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
