Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
