That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
