i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Farmville is her only friend.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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