that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
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