I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
