Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
