4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
