Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
