Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
