I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just had sex on a roof
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
