sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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