i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
