kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize