Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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