Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
