i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
