just come out here and I will go home with you...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
