It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
