my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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