he puts the penis in happiness.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
