It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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