I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
