butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
time to smoke my breakfast
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
