well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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