so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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