sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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