my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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