I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
