I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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