you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
