Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
