hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
